The pain of losing something you never had 1
by OurBeautifulLie
Summary: What if Rush died in the second timeline  before Chloe does  and the only person he confides in  that he has not got long  is Tj.  sorry bad summary my first fic . Tj/Rush friendship. T to be safe, Mild death fic.


**Title:** the pain of losing something you never had (1)  
**Ship:** pre-Rush/Tamara  
**Rating:** PG/M-death fic.  
**Warnings:** Spoilers up to at least Time. Death fic but not to bad.  
**Disclaimer: **Nope their not mine, if they were there would be more scenes between Tj and Rush even if it was just friendship (the look on Young's face would be priceless).  
**Summary:** What if Rush died in the second timeline (before Chloe does) and the only person he confides in (that he has not got long) is Tj. (sorry bad summary my first fic). Authors Note: Sorry this is my first fic so I'm so worried about getting the characters right, please tell me if did or didn't and any hints for next time would be great. About the title it says 1 because I'm hoping to do a series of them with different crew members (but their may be a few more rush and Tj ones than anything else).

-oo0oo-

Tamara was in the infirmary checking on her patients when she saw Dr. Rush enter seemingly looking for her. 'Lieutenant, may I have a word with you privately? It will only take a moment.' Rush asked her.

'Yer sure' she moved to a more secluded part of the infirmary then she turned to him and kindly asked 'what is it?' she seemed to be the only person who was truly polite to him. She and him were in pretty much the same boat, both expected to preform miracles to save lives with nowhere near the amount of supplies and equipment they needed and not being properly trained for this in any way add on top of that lack of useful help and you get the two crew members that barely have time to eat and sleep, in fact sometimes they don't.

'I don't have much longer lieutenant, I haven't told anyone else because I wish to continue working for as long as possible so please don't mention it to anyone.' Rush said one hand curled around the back of his head.

'Ok' Tj replied quietly 'can I ask why are you telling me?' she asked.

'Coz 1) I need ya to give me something to keep me on my feet for as long as possible and 2) two because how ever stupid it may seem I needed someone to know and you're the one person on this ship I trust, you do your job even though you have little to no supplies and aren't really trained for this plus you are the only one who dan't hate me.' He explained. With that small twitchy smile of his at the end.

She didn't know how to respond to that so she tried to focus of the facts.'Well on the keno footage Chloe had a blackout and then woke…that's all ready happened hasn't it?' she asked after seeing the look on his face.

'Aye, a few hours ago now' he responded solemnly.

'How long do you think you have?' Tj asked concerned.

'About…' he collapsed, she caught his thin, light frame and lowered them both to the ground. He must have pushed himself to the limit because her other patients just slowly drifted to unconsciousness. Then a thought came to her what if he wasn't unconscious, she carefully swept the hair away from his neck and checked for a pulse… nothing, he was gone.

-oo0oo-

When Vanessa found her Tj was kneeling on the floor clutching Rush's limp form to her chest sobbing quietly.

'Tj, shhh its ok, that's it' Vanessa said comforting her friend she knew it was hard losing a patient though come to think of it she saw rush only twenty minutes ago and he looked fine (well, not worse than normal anyway).

' I never hated him you know not like everyone else, a few weeks ago I had damaged(ok blew up) the consoles in here, I asked the other scientists for help but they said I would have to ask the colonel, that night I came back to the infirmary and to my surprise Nicholas was here taking them apart to fix them, for five nights we sat in here he was teaching me how to do some of the basic repairs, I know how to do it now but what if something else comes up he was the only one who truly understood destiny and her systems we wont survive long without him.' Tj told Vanessa between shaky breaths. Vanessa didn't mention the fact that her friend had used Dr. Rush's first name or the fact that she that called destiny a "her" at trait she had obviously picked up Rush.

-oo0oo-

Then Matt sent the keno back in time, that timeline was erased and a new one was formed one where Dr. Nicholas Rush survives and they all go on to face another day.


End file.
